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Couples therapy for sexual dissatisfaction and mismatched desire
One of you wants more, or something different. Sex has become a source of pressure, rejection, or silence. These differences are common, and they can be talked about.
Couples & partners · Secure video across Illinois · Gottman-informed & EFT
What this can look like
Different levels of desire
Sex feels like a chore or a negotiation
Rejection that leads to distance
Changes after a baby, illness, or stress
Trouble talking about what you each want
Feeling more like roommates than partners
Why it happens
Desire differences are common
Mismatched desire is one of the most common sexual concerns couples report, especially during big transitions like becoming parents.
Pressure tends to lower desire
When sex turns into a source of conflict, both partners often start avoiding the topic, and the gap can widen.
Emotional and physical intimacy are linked
Feeling disconnected outside the bedroom often shows up inside it, and the reverse is true too.
How couples therapy can help
01
Talk about it safely
Create a way to discuss sex and intimacy without blame or pressure.
02
Understand each other’s desire
Explore what helps and what gets in the way for each of you, including stress, health, and history.
03
Rebuild intimacy step by step
Reconnect through touch, affection, and closeness that feels good to both of you.
WHAT THE RESEARCH SAYS
Very few couples match exactly
In a study of 255 couples who had recently had a baby, only 5% reported matched desire. Larger gaps were linked with lower sexual satisfaction for both partners.
Questions
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Yes. Desire differences, sexual concerns, and intimacy are part of our work with couples.
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Only what feels comfortable. We’ll go at a pace that works for both of you.
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That’s common and can have many causes, including stress, health, or medication. Checking in with a doctor can help too.
OTHER THINGS COUPLES BRING
Same fight, different day · Growing apart · Trust after betrayal · Not seeing eye to eye · Pressure from outside · Big life hardships · Mental load & household roles · Jealousy & insecurity · In-laws & family boundaries
Start with one conversation, together.
A free, no-pressure 15-minute phone call. Ask about fees, insurance, or how we work.
Book a free 15-min consult Join the waitlistSOURCES
Rosen, N. O., Bailey, K., & Muise, A. (2018). Degree and direction of sexual desire discrepancy are linked to sexual and relationship satisfaction in couples transitioning to parenthood. The Journal of Sex Research, 55(2), 214–225. doi:10.1080/00224499.2017.1321732
This page is general information, not a substitute for therapy.